Living Broken

My bio says “a broken man on a journey to change.” This is where all of us should be, it’s where all of us needs to get to, to move on in our lives.

Last year I separated from  my wife of 15 years because I’d had an affair. The process of breaking up was an agonising process. Not seeing my kids every day, learning about managing my own budget, planning a weekly shop all of these tasks were daunting and at times quite overwhelming.

But I turned to Jesus and daily I acknowledged my need of Him. Yes, as my Saviour who rescues me from sin by His grace, but also as my source.

My source of self-worth did not come from who I was seen with, what I was wearing or driving or what I was appreciated for. My sense of self-worth came from that incredible gift of sacrificial love. I realised that to Jesus I meant the whole world!

And knowing that breaks you! It breaks up your pride, your arrogance and your vanity. It undermines your feeble arguments of self-dependence because when I had no one in the world, I had the Creator of the world!

Sin separates us from God, it drives a wedge between us and our loved ones. It is divisive, selfish, isolating and ultimately fills you with a deep sense of self-loathing.

In my wife I have seen what God’s love looks like in the flesh. She shows love even when in pain, she reaches out even when she wants to pull away, she can’t help but love because love is not just what she does, love is what she is!

The same is true of God: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (‭1 John‬ ‭4‬:‭16‬ NIV)

The reason my wife has this uncompromising love is because she loves God and allows Him to influence her thoughts, actions and decisions, daily.

God is love. He doesn’t just love you, he IS love. He can’t help but love you.

Like the parent who scoops up their tiny toddler covered in a snot bubble that just exploded on their face, God just can’t help but love us no matter how much of a mess we get ourselves in!

But the way back to Him is not an easy one, it is a treacherous road littered with failure, heartache, guilt and anguish! However, it is the road that leads you home, so if you find yourself sat in the pig pen nibbling on pigswill like I did, remember that there is a road that leads you home and at the end of that road there is a Father who is waiting for you to come home so He can embrace you, pig mud and all and just love you!

If He can love me, He can love anyone! Open your heart to Him today!

One thought on “Living Broken

  1. I had to see who it was that shared nearly the same blog title as ours, breathonpaperblog.com. Couldn’t be more thrilled to see its another heart in love w/the Lord. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Blessings to you!

    Like

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